A message to parents navigating the college admissions process with their children.

I've seen both extremes: parents who are completely hands-off and parents who write their child's essays. Neither works. Here's the healthy middle ground.

DO:

• Help with logistics (scheduling visits, tracking deadlines)
• Offer to proofread (for typos, not content)
• Provide emotional support during stressful periods
• Share your perspective when asked
• Celebrate every acceptance
• Trust the process

DON'T:

• Write or heavily edit essays
• Contact admissions offices on your child's behalf
• Compare your child to their peers
• Make this about your own prestige
• Panic publicly (your anxiety is contagious)
• Override your child's school preferences

The Hardest Part:

Accepting that this is your child's journey, not yours. The student who owns their application process — who writes their own essays, makes their own school list, and drives their own timeline — is the student who thrives in college.

Your job is to be the safety net, not the driver. Support, encourage, and trust your child. They're more capable than you think.